Whether your baby is in the thick of a four-month sleep regression or your toddler is grappling with separation anxiety, chances are another seasoned parent has told you: Don’t worry, it’s just a phase. (Which is nice, but doesn’t exactly help when you’re living on four hours of disrupted sleep and just a shred of hope you’ll ever sleep again.)
Parenting is a constant evolution. Just when you’ve mastered one stage (hello, sleep!) your kid moves onto the next milestone. The same goes for your childcare needs. While a full-time nanny may be the perfect fit right now, your needs naturally evolve as your children grow. Over time, it might make sense to transition your nanny to a family assistant role so that they can support both your household and your family’s day-to-day life.Thinking about shifting the role of your nanny to best support your current needs? You’re not alone (it is just a phase, after all). Here’s how to approach the conversation with your nanny with care, clarity, and mutual respect.
Signs It May Be Time to Shift Your Nanny’s Role
As your family’s needs evolve, you may start to notice your nanny’s daily responsibilities stretching beyond traditional childcare. If any of the below are starting to feel familiar, it could be time to explore a transition into a family assistant role:
- Your children are now in school or daycare part-time, freeing up chunks of the day.
- Your nanny already helps with errands, meal prep, or organizing the kids’ schedules.
- You and/or your partner are juggling more than ever—work, home, appointments—and need extra logistical support.
- Household tasks are falling through the cracks, and you could use an extra set of trusted hands.
- Your nanny has expressed interest in taking on more responsibility or learning new skills.
- You’re constantly texting your nanny about non-childcare-related tasks (like picking up dry cleaning or waiting for the plumber).
- You find yourself thinking, I wish I had someone who could just help manage it all.
For many families whose children are now school-aged and have grown past the baby and toddler stage, this means finding someone who can support both your children and your household. Often, because you’ve cultivated such a strong relationship with your nanny, they are the first person you’ll turn to to fill this gap.
Related: The ROI of Hiring a Nanny and Family Assistant
Family Assistant vs Nanny: What’s the Difference?
Unlike a nanny whose main responsibility is caring for the children and their needs, a family assistant is more of a hybrid role that blends the skills of a nanny and personal assistant. Their prerogative is supporting both the household and children, and the role can be part-time or full-time. For families seeking additional household support, transitioning your nanny to a family assistant could be an ideal outcome.
From managing school pickups and extracurriculars to handling grocery runs and organizing the family calendar, family assistants can be the extra set of hands (and brain) that makes your home run more smoothly.
In general, nannies are best suited for families who need full-time, focused childcare—especially during the infant and toddler years. But for families with school-aged children or shifting schedules, a family assistant can be the more flexible, efficient fit. They help bridge the gap between childcare and household management, offering support that evolves as your family’s needs do.
Related: What Is a Family Assistant?
Is a Family Assistant Role Right for Your Nanny?
Not every nanny is interested in—or has the skills for—a family assistant role (and vice versa). Some nannies thrive on the structure of childcare-only duties, while others enjoy taking on a broader set of household responsibilities. So before you broach the subject with your nanny, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Are they naturally organized, proactive, and detail-oriented?
- Have they already taken on light household tasks—and do they do them well?
- Do they seem energized by variety, or do they prefer a clear, child-focused role?
- Have they expressed curiosity or interest in helping out beyond childcare?
- Do I trust and value them enough to evolve this partnership into something more dynamic?
If you’re answering “yes” to most of these, your nanny may be a great fit for a family assistant role, and the shift could be a win-win for everyone involved.
How to Prepare for the Conversation
Before you even broach a change in roles with your nanny, prepare for the conversation and an introduction to the new role like you would any other promotion or shift in job responsibilities for a direct report.
Here are a few ways to set yourself (and your nanny) up for success:
- Define the new role and responsibilities clearly
Map out what the family assistant role would look like in your household. What tasks will they take on and which ones will they shed? How will their day-to-day responsibilities shift? - Do your homework on compensation and hours
If you’re expanding the scope of duties (e.g. they’ll be responsible for childcare and household duties simultaneously), be ready to discuss updated pay, schedule adjustments, and potential flexibility. - Anticipate their questions and concerns
Change can bring uncertainty. Be prepared to answer questions around workload, boundaries, and whether the role still aligns with their goals and strengths. - Propose a trial period
A short-term trial (think 30 days) gives both of you a chance to test the waters before making a permanent shift. It also communicates that you value their input in the process.
Having this conversation with clarity and empathy ensures your nanny feels respected, supported, and empowered—regardless of the outcome.
From Nanny to Family Assistant: How to Talk to Your Nanny About Transitioning Roles
Whether it’s an annual review or getting on the same page about discipline, it’s normal to feel nervous about having a tough conversation with your nanny. Take a deep breath because you got this!
The first step to set the conversation up for success is to ensure that you’re having it at the right time and place. When your kids have the witching hour zoomies or right as your nanny is about to leave for the day is not a great time to talk. Instead, choose a time where you can have some privacy, it’s quiet, and you can really sit down one on one so that you can give your nanny your full undivided attention.
The whole conversation should feel less like a correction and more like an evolution—because that’s exactly what it is. Here’s how to ease into the conversation:
- “We’ve been thinking about how our family’s needs have shifted as the kids have gotten older, and we’d love to talk about how your role might evolve with us.”
- “You’ve become such an integral part of our family—we really value what you bring to our lives, and we’d love to explore ways to expand your role.”
- “As the kids become more independent, we’re finding new household needs popping up. Would you be open to chatting about how we might adapt your role to reflect that?”
- “We’ve always appreciated your flexibility and initiative, and it got us thinking—you might be a great fit for a hybrid nanny/family assistant role. Would you be open to discussing what that could look like?”
If your nanny expresses hesitation or isn’t immediately on board, don’t panic. Of course, this should be the first conversation in what will likely be a few so don’t expect your nanny to immediately jump on board or for all the details to be ironed out right away. Your nanny should have time to think about this new role and whether it’s right for them and their career goals.
Change can feel overwhelming, especially when it involves new responsibilities or a change to the expected. Listen openly to their concerns, acknowledge their feelings, and give them space to process. Ask clarifying questions to understand what’s behind their hesitation—whether it’s about compensation, workload, or comfort level with new tasks. Reiterate that the goal is to evolve together and that you’re open to a trial period or collaborative adjustments. The most successful transitions are built on mutual respect, clear communication, and patience.
Approaching the conversation with gratitude, honesty, and clarity helps your nanny feel seen and respected. It also opens the door for honest feedback—because this transition should feel like a win for both sides.
Next Steps: Updating Your Work Agreement
If your nanny expresses serious interest and wants to accept the new role, formalize it all in an updated work agreement. Just like with any job promotion or transition, it’s crucial to have expectations clearly outlined in writing to protect both the employer and employee. Here’s what should be covered:
- Updated Job Title – Clearly state the new role (e.g., Family Assistant) to reflect the broader scope of responsibilities.
- Revised Job Description – Detail both childcare and household-related duties, such as scheduling appointments, meal prep, organizing, or managing errands. It may also be helpful tasks that fall outside the new role.
- Work Schedule – Specify expected working hours, and note any flexibility or on-call expectations.
- Compensation & Benefits – Adjust pay (if appropriate) to reflect the new responsibilities, and update benefits like PTO, sick days, and mileage reimbursement if applicable.
- Trial Period (Optional) – Include a 30–60 day trial period with a check-in date to reassess the arrangement.
- Termination or Review Clause – Outline the process if either party decides the new role isn’t a fit, or if a review will occur after a set time.
Once everything is agreed upon, both parties should review and then sign the revised contract. A thoughtful, written agreement ensures everyone is on the same page as you begin this new chapter together.
How to Support a Successful Role Transition
Once your nanny steps into the role of a family assistant, the key to long-term success is open communication and ongoing support. First off: as a key stakeholder in your family, you’ll want to get the buy-in of all family members. This means letting everyone in the household know your nanny’s new role, including what they are and are not responsible for, along with any new schedule changes. For example, maybe you used to take your kids to soccer practice, but now your nanny-turned-family assistant will assume these duties.
Check in regularly—especially in the first few weeks—to see how your new family assistant is adjusting and whether any responsibilities need to be clarified or adjusted. Be patient as both sides settle into the new dynamic, and don’t forget to express appreciation for their flexibility and growth. Offering training resources, clear feedback, and space for questions can help ensure they feel confident, supported, and motivated as they take on new responsibilities. Ensure that you’re also providing more formal annual reviews.
Related: 11 Standard Nanny Benefits You Didn’t Know
When It’s Time to Hire a Separate Family Assistant
Not every nanny will be interested in—or have the skills and passion for—a family assistant role, and that’s completely okay. If your current nanny is a rockstar with your kids but isn’t keen on managing household tasks, it might be time to consider hiring a separate family assistant. Alternately, if the trial period reveals that this new role isn’t a good fit, it’s important to have the conversation about your family’s needs now (versus waiting a few months hoping things will improve), and start exploring a staffing solution that better aligns with your evolving household—whether that’s hiring additional support or transitioning to a new care arrangement altogether.
The goal isn’t to force a transition, but to build a support system that works for your whole household, and one that aligns with your nanny’s strengths and career ambitions. Bringing on a family assistant in addition to your nanny can relieve pressure, help prevent burnout, and ensure that both your childcare and household needs are being met with the right expertise. It’s about finding the best fit—not just for your kids, but for your entire family ecosystem.
Related: Hiring a Nanny? Here’s What You Need to Know
Finding the Right Fit for Your Family as Your Needs Evolve
Just like developmental phases creep up on us, so does the reality that our household support might not perfectly fit our family’s current needs. Perhaps you’ve noticed your nanny taking on more household tasks or realizing your schedule will completely shift when your youngest starts elementary school. These sorts of transitions—whether in parenting or household support—can feel overwhelming, but they also open the door to new possibilities.
As your family’s needs grow and shift, your childcare and household support should evolve, too. Whether your current nanny steps into a family assistant role or you bring on additional help (maybe a part-time nanny and part-time family assistant), the ultimate goal is the same: creating a home environment that supports your children, your household, and you. Broaching the change in roles thoughtfully and with open communication, intentional planning, and with the right team in place allows your family (and nanny) to thrive through every phase.
FAQs About Transitioning Your Nanny to Family Assistant
What’s the difference between a nanny and family assistant?
Generally, a nanny is focused 100% on childcare. They may occasionally wash bottles or fold the child’s laundry, but household tasks are always related to the children (and should be outlined in the work agreement for transparent expectations). On the other hand, a family assistant is a hybrid role that supports both the children and the household’s needs. Often family assistants are best suited for families with older kids whose children may not need the constant supervision a baby or toddler requires.
Does the salary change now that my nanny is a family assistant?
The answer is that: it depends. According to Stephanie Fornaro, Founder and CEO at Hello Nanny!, “a potential salary change depends on the hours, schedule and responsibilities. If your new family assistant will simultaneously fulfill both family assistant and childcare duties at the same time then yes, it would reflect a potential pay raise.” Other variables include how long the candidate has been with the family, whether or not an annual review just took place and if any cost-of-living raises would be considered. New responsibilities and potential new salary should all be included in the work agreement, signed by both parties.
How much should I pay a nanny-turned-family-assistant?
While rates vary by region and experience, most family assistants earn an hourly wage starting at $25-$30 per hour or more in major metro areas. Factors like scope of work, how long your nanny has been with your family, years of experience, and schedule flexibility (errands, admin work, coordinating with vendors) can impact pay.
If you’re not sure where to start, reach out to our agency, Hello Nanny! for guidance on competitive, fair compensation. And remember, with increased responsibility comes increased value. Investing in the right support can help everyone in your household thrive.
Can my nanny say no to taking on more responsibilities?
Absolutely. Imagine you’re a dog walker and your clients ask you to also take on cat sitting duties. While the two roles are within the same realm, one requires a totally different skill set. It’s the same for broaching a change in role with your nanny. While many nannies are open to evolving their role with their family, it’s important to remember that not every nanny is interested in or equipped for the added responsibilities of a family assistant. Saying no doesn’t mean they’re not committed. It simply means they want to remain focused on what they do best: caring for your children. If that’s the case, consider whether your family might benefit from hiring a separate family assistant to meet your evolving needs without compromising the care your children receive.
How do I set boundaries around household tasks?
Start by clearly outlining which tasks fall within the scope of your nanny’s role and which belong to other household staff or family members. For example, it’s fair to ask your nanny to tidy up after the children’s meals or organize toys, but it’s important not to assume they’ll also do adult laundry or manage the grocery list—unless those responsibilities are agreed upon in an updated work agreement. Open communication, regular check-ins, and a clearly defined job description are key to setting healthy, respectful boundaries that work for everyone.
