Why Nanny Performance Reviews Matter More Than You Think

By Stephanie Fornaro
February 3, 2026

There are a lot of tricky moments families don’t always anticipate when they hire a nanny. The first hard conversation. Figuring out an appropriate holiday bonus. Navigating boundaries when your home becomes someone else’s workplace. And often, tucked quietly into that list, is one of the most overlooked—and significant—responsibilities of all: stepping into the role of employer.

Most families don’t come from an HR or management background, so it’s completely normal for a nanny annual review to fall into the “we’ll get to it later” category. Add in the emotional complexity of in-home care—this person cares for your child, sees you on your hardest days, and becomes part of your daily rhythm—and it can feel awkward to formalize feedback at all. But avoiding a nanny performance review, or keeping it overly casual, can actually create more uncertainty over time.

A thoughtful nanny performance review isn’t about criticism or checking boxes. It’s an opportunity to pause, reflect, and make sure you’re truly aligned. This dedicated time gives each of you time to discuss what’s working well, what could feel better, and how you can continue building trust and clarity as partners in care. When done with intention and the right structure, reviews protect both your family and your nanny, setting the foundation for a stronger, more sustainable working relationship.

👉 Download the Nanny Performance Review Guide

What Is a Nanny Performance Review?

When you hear “performance review,” you likely picture rigid corporate scorecards or uncomfortable conversations focused only on what’s going wrong. A nanny performance review is the opposite. It’s a dedicated, structured moment to reflect on how the past year has gone like what’s working well, where job expectations may need clarity, and how you can continue to support one another moving forward.

Because a performance review—whether it’s for your nanny, family assistant or household manager—is an intentional, two-way conversation, which goes far beyond casual day-to-day feedback or quick check-ins. Held annually, it creates space to look back on the past year, revisit the job description, and make sure responsibilities, goals, and compensation are still aligned. When done thoughtfully, it provides reassurance, transparency, and a shared roadmap for the year ahead—for both your family and your nanny.

How to Prepare & What to Cover in a Performance Review

A successful nanny performance review starts well before you sit down together. Preparation, including revisiting your original job description, is what turns an awkward conversation into a productive, confidence-building one—for both sides. By giving yourself a clear framework, nothing important is overlooked.

At a high level, a thoughtful performance review should touch on:

How responsibilities have evolved (if at all) since the role began
What’s going well and should be acknowledged or reinforced
Where expectations may need clarification or adjustment
Compensation, raises, benefits, and reimbursements
Goals and priorities for the year ahead

That said, there’s a lot of nuance to these larger topics, which if not done thoughtfully, can lead to an unproductive review. Many families know the large topics they need to cover, but don’t necessarily know how to post their questions and feedback. Or, even, what type of document and framework to create. What questions should you actually ask? How do you bring up compensation without it feeling uncomfortable? How do you document it all?

Our Nanny Performance Review Guide is designed to walk you through every step. It includes carefully worded questions, clear guidance about how to prepare, and reusable templates so you can approach the review with confidence and care—without overthinking it or leaving things unsaid.

How Annual Reviews Make a Difference

Caring for and raising a child is anything but static. One moment they’re obsessed with sweet potato purees and the next you’re frantically rushing to babyproof the entire house. Just like your kids are always evolving, it’s natural that your childcare needs and routines do, too. Over a year, responsibilities may have quietly expanded and expectations have changed, but you just haven’t had a chance to clearly name them or sit down to formally address them with your nanny or family assistant.

This is where an annual review can really set your household employee and entire family up for success and get everyone back on track, all with the same expectations. A consistent nanny annual review creates a shared pause point. It gives both sides permission to step back, reflect, and realign, all before small misunderstandings turn into resentment or burnout. Instead of guessing how things are going, you clearly outline it, discussing what’s working, what needs tweaks and what can be improved upon. In the best case scenarios, everyone leaves the conversation with clarity, confidence, and a plan. You ward off any tension or resentment before it becomes a bigger issue.

Annual reviews directly impact:

Communication: expectations, feedback, and boundaries are clearly stated—not assumed
Performance: strengths are reinforced and challenges are addressed early
Trust: open dialogue builds psychological safety on both sides
Retention: nannies who feel seen, valued, and supported are far more likely to stay long-term
Professionalism: the role is treated as a career, not an informal arrangement

When annual reviews are part of your household rhythm, the working relationship feels steadier, more respectful, and more sustainable—for your family and your nanny or family assistant alike.

👉 Download the Nanny Performance Review Guide

Why Families Avoid Annual Nanny Reviews

If you’re thinking, “I know this matters, I just don’t know how to fit it in,” you’re not alone. Most families we work with aren’t avoiding annual nanny reviews because they don’t care—they fall to the wayside because life with kids is full, loud, and exhausting. When you’re juggling work, schedules, and sleep deprivation, a formal review can feel like one more thing on an already overflowing list.

Here are the most common reasons families put off a nanny performance review—and why each one makes sense:

“It feels awkward to criticize someone who’s caring for my children.”
Of course laying out constructive criticism isn’t a walk in the park. Your nanny is deeply trusted, emotionally involved, and present for some of your most vulnerable family moments. But reframe the idea that a review isn’t about criticism, but about providing clarity, appreciation, and growth. Avoiding feedback often creates more discomfort over time, not less.
“I don’t know how to start the conversation.”
This is one of the biggest blockers we hear from families. Without a clear structure or script, families worry about saying the wrong thing or opening a door they can’t close. A defined framework removes the guesswork and helps the conversation feel professional, not personal. (Need help starting the conversation? Get the more detailed guidance inside our Performance Review Guide.)
“We just don’t have time.”
Time is the rarest resource for parents. But when expectations aren’t aligned, families often spend more time later dealing with miscommunications, frustration, or turnover. A single, intentional conversation can prevent months of low-level stress.
“We talk all the time about the kids anyway.”
Day-to-day communication is essential—but it’s not the same as stepping back to look at the role as a whole. Annual reviews create space to discuss scope, growth, boundaries, compensation, and long-term goals—topics that rarely surface in quick check-ins.
“Everything seems fine enough.”
“Fine” can be deceptively comfortable. Many placements fall apart not because something was wrong, but because expectations slowly drifted without anyone realizing it. Annual reviews help keep “fine” from turning into frustration.

Putting off or avoiding these potentially tough conversations is understandable. But as an employer, you have a duty to your employee to set them up for success. Plus, once you bake a performance review into your annual schedule, it will feel like second nature once you get one under your belt. With the right structure and support, annual nanny reviews become one of the most stabilizing, confidence-building tools a family can use.

The Importance of Relying on a Framework for Your Review (and Not Winging It)

So much of parenting is figuring it out as you go—trial, error, and a lot of crossed fingers. A nanny performance review is one place where you don’t have to rely on instinct alone. Having a clear framework—with intentional questions and a reusable template—gives you a steady place to land year after year. It helps you move the conversation from “I guess things are going okay?” to a thoughtful, grounded discussion about what’s working, what could be better, and how you move forward together.

Of course, ongoing communication matters. Day-to-day feedback, quick check-ins, and even lighter quarterly touchpoints are incredibly valuable—and we often encourage them. But a documented annual review adds something those informal conversations can’t: clarity and shared understanding. It removes the guesswork on both sides. Am I meeting expectations? Is this what you’re looking for? Am I getting the support I need to do my job well? A framework ensures those questions are answered openly and consistently, creating trust, alignment, and a stronger working relationship for the long term.

Making Your Nanny Performance Review an Expectation

A family assistant or nanny performance review doesn’t have to be overly formal or turn your home into a corporate office. What it does need to be is intentional, scheduled and structured. When reviews are handled thoughtfully, they create space for honest communication, shared expectations, and long-term success on both sides. They reinforce professionalism, mutual respect, and trust—things every strong nanny-family (and employer-employee) partnership depends on.

If you’re ready to approach this process with more confidence and less guesswork, our Nanny Performance Review Guide was created to support you. It’s thoughtfully designed, specific to household employment, and reusable year after year, so you’re not starting from scratch each time. Inside, you’ll find a high-level framework that includes review prompts, evaluation categories, and clear templates and documentation tools to help you lead the conversation with intention on an annual basis.

You don’t need to get this perfect. You just need a starting point—and we’re here to provide that.

👉 Download the Nanny Performance Review Guide

FAQs About Family Assistant and Nanny Performance Reviews

1. What is a nanny performance review?

A nanny performance review is a structured, intentional conversation—typically held annually at a time without distractions—that looks back on the past year of care. It’s a chance to discuss what’s working well, clarify expectations, address challenges, and align on goals moving forward. Unlike day-to-day feedback, it creates space for reflection, documentation, and long-term planning.

2. How often should you do a nanny performance review?

Most families conduct a nanny performance review once a year, often around the nanny’s work anniversary or at the start of a new year. Some families also add brief mid-year or quarterly check-ins, but an annual review provides a clear, consistent milestone for evaluating performance and discussing compensation.

3. Is a nanny annual review really necessary if everything seems fine?

Yes. When everything feels “fine” is often the best time to do a review. A family assistant or nanny annual review reinforces what’s going well, prevents unspoken frustrations from building, and helps both sides feel secure and appreciated. It’s proactive, not reactive.

4. What should be included in a nanny performance review?

A thorough nanny performance review typically covers job responsibilities, communication, reliability, child development support, household expectations, and overall fit. Many families also use the review to discuss raises, benefits, reimbursements, and goals for the year ahead. Using a guide or framework helps ensure nothing important is missed.

5. How do you give feedback without it feeling awkward or uncomfortable?

Having a clear structure makes all the difference. When feedback is framed as part of a regular, expected process—not a surprise conversation—it feels more professional and supportive. A written framework helps keep the discussion balanced, respectful, and focused on working better together, rather than personal criticism.

6. What if I need more info. or help setting up an annual review?

If you want help navigating these conversations with confidence, a thoughtful nanny performance review framework can take the guesswork out of the process and support a stronger, more sustainable partnership.Access our performance review guide to streamline the conversation and equip you with tools you can use time and again.