My son is in elementary school and we’re already faced with after-school activity fatigue. The conversation between my husband and I recently went like this: He really wants to do karate, but it conflicts with baseball practice. There’s piano or violin lessons available at the Rec Center, but we need to find a way to get him there at 2:45pm. And, should we consider competitive soccer? It’s expensive but all his friends are doing it.
The sheer amount of activities available for children starting as early as five years old is staggering. Sometimes I feel grateful he has opportunities that I didn’t have; other times, I think if we’re guilty of contributing to our society’s overscheduled kids phenomenom. And, when I refer to “activities,” I’m not even counting homework, reading time, or tutoring, things that are often considered non-negotiables.
Like every parent, I want the world for my son, but I keep asking myself: Does thriving and my son’s happiness really equate to a packed schedule? Or does success for our family mean prioritizing more rest and unstructured free time?
Overscheduled kids aren’t just a buzzword. They’re the byproduct of a modern culture that often equates busyness with success. Even families who swear they won’t overbook eventually find themselves tempted. And, how could they not with so much opportunity available?
But, it’s time to ask ourselves when did packing our kids’ schedules become the norm? And more importantly, how do we decide whether this is a trend worth keeping—or one that calls for course correction?
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How Many Activities Are Too Many Activities?
There is no magic number or formula when it comes to kids activities and schedules. According to Dr. Spector, Dr. Brighton and Dr. Gex, the founders (and moms) of My Pediatrician Friend, “There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to how many extracurricular activities a child should take on, or how many hours they should spend doing them. What works best will vary from family to family and even more so from child to child.”
What works for one child—or even one sibling—might feel overwhelming to another. And as kids grow, factors like homework, shifting sleep needs, and family dynamics all play a role in how much is too much.
As one parent I recently spoke with shared: “My daughter thrives with three different after-school activities, but my son’s disposition requires a different formula. One 30-minute class on Saturday mornings is enough for him. And, this works for our family.”
There’s no universal number of “right” activities. For families just starting to explore more formal schedules with sports and classes, it may require some trial and error to grasp what works for each family member (including you as the parent and how much you feel you can handle).
Trending Towards More Activities: But, Why?
The WhatsApp chat group for my son’s grade is indicative of the length parents will go to find and sign up for after-school enrichment activities. From sports to cooking and LEGO building classes to garden club, there’s an abundance of options. And, on paper, they all sound downright amazing. How can we not be drawn to these amazing opportunities that we didn’t have as kids?
As My Pediatrician Friend explains: “Over the past few decades, children have been increasingly more involved in both school and afterschool activities which is likely due to a combination of changes in cultural expectations, more houses with dual working parents and expanded offerings.”
One potential reason parents overschedule kids is that we don’t want them to miss out or fall behind their peers. Whether it’s sports, music, or chess club, we sign them up—sometimes even before they ask. Call it social pressure or fear of falling behind, but scheduling kids into activities has become the new norm.
All of these extras are not cheap, either. Families who choose sports spend an average of $883 per sport, per child, according to a 2022 Aspen Institute study. In fact, the youth sports industry alone in the U.S. has exploded in recent years and is now worth at least $19 billion, larger than the annual revenues of the NBA or NFL, according to Slate.
Whether your child is signed up for sports, enrichment classes, tutoring or another option, the bottom line is that our kids are busy and so are we. And, recent data shows we may all be paying the price.
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What Happens When Our Kids Are Overscheduled
Overscheduled kids don’t always thrive. A 2024 study published in the Economics of Education Review revealed that overscheduling extracurriculars of all kinds did not help build skills, but actually harmed the mental well-being of children, making students more anxious, depressed, or angry.
Let that sink in: our best intentions might actually be backfiring.
Overscheduling can affect our kids in different ways:
- Reliance on adults to create structure. When every hour is planned, kids don’t learn how to structure their own time. Instead, they look to us for constant direction.
- Burnt out parents and kids. Packing bags, making sure the uniforms, cleats and snacks are packed, driving across town, remembering the carpool schedule, all adds up. Multiply that by two or three activities and you’ve got a recipe for exhaustion (for you and them).
- Stifled creativity and problem-solving. Free time is where imagination takes root. Without it, kids miss chances to invent, explore, and self-direct.
- Widening the economic gap. Most activities come with a price tag. For many parents this financial commitment just isn’t realistic. And for working parents, the logistics of transportation, supervision, and time adds an additional mental and physical load. More activities mean more inequity.
The one element this study is missing is that “overscheduled” isn’t clearly defined. Is one activity too much? Does nightly homework time count as overscheduling? What about neurodivergent children who may benefit from structure and activities? The data isn’t clear how many hours they define as “overscheduled”, which means it’s up to parents to determine the best balance for their family.
As My Pediatrician Friend puts it, “Extracurriculars can offer valuable benefits, like fostering friendships, developing new skills, and most importantly, building confidence. Ultimately, the most meaningful activities are the ones your child truly enjoys. For some kids, that might mean spending lots of time on the field or in a studio, and if it brings them joy, that can be a great thing.”
Benefits of Unstructured Free Time
If overscheduled kids are the problem, free time is often the antidote.
When a child is overscheduled kids this often leaves less free time for kids to be kids. My Pediatrician Friend explains that “Unstructured free time is a powerful and often overlooked part of a child’s development. It gives kids the space to use their imagination, explore their creativity, and come up with their own ways to play.”
They continue, “When they engage with other children during this time, they naturally learn how to collaborate, solve problems, and navigate social situations. Just as importantly, unstructured play offers a chance to unwind and recharge. Something that benefits all of us, no matter our age.”
Free time isn’t wasted time. It teaches kids how to collaborate, navigate friendships, and problem-solve without a playbook. Just as importantly, it gives them (and us) space to relax and recharge.
Unstructured time might look like:
- Impromptu playdates
- Building a fort out of couch cushions
- Riding bikes around the neighborhood or at the local park
- Doodling or creating
- Visiting the library or picking up a book you haven’t read in awhile
As My Pediatrician Friend says, “Even the most enthusiastic kids benefit from time to simply ‘just be.’ The skills that emerge from free play and open time can complement those developed through structured activities. While there’s no need for perfect balance, it helps to remember that free time isn’t a shortcoming, it’s a gift that nurtures imagination and creativity.”
Even the most activity-loving kids benefit from moments to just be. And for parents, those breaks from carpooling, packing snacks, or micromanaging schedules are a gift, too.
Striking a Balance & Finding Support
We’re not suggesting you scale back entirely (unless you and your child want to), but to strike a balance and schedule with intention. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
Maybe that looks like choosing one sport per season. Or empowering your child to pack their own gear so the mental load doesn’t always fall on you. Or leaning on your village with carpools or snack swaps, or hiring a family assistant to help with logistics like meal prep or bringing your kids home after their activity is over.
Balance means different things to different people and there is no right way to schedule (or not schedule) your child. Some kids thrive on multiple activities a week, while others won’t fall in love with anything structured until middle school. What matters most is that your child—and you—aren’t running on empty.
Because at the end of the day, giving kids every opportunity isn’t about signing up for everything. As My Pediatrician Friend states, “We all want to give your children every opportunity.” And, giving opportunity means creating the right mix of structure and freedom, so they can grow, explore, and, yes, just be kids.
👉 Your kids deserve time to play, and so do you. Learn how a trusted nanny or family assistant can lighten your load and help your family thrive. Connect with our team today.
