Becoming a dad is full of firsts: the first time you learn fatherhood is in your future, the first time you hold your baby, the unforgettable first laughs, and yes, the first blowout diaper change. For many new dads, it can feel like you’ve been handed the golden ticket to the most exclusive club in the world, all without so much as a user manual. (Wait, you’re really letting me leave the hospital with this baby?!).
But, you soon learn that modern fatherhood means showing up differently. You’re involved, attuned and share duties more equally than generations past. Gone are the days when “dad duty” meant just bringing home a paycheck. Today’s fathers are sharing the mental load, redefining what partnership looks like, and challenging outdated expectations.
And, while there’s still no guide book, dads deserve resources, community, and a place at the parenting table. Here, we’re unpacking some of the common assumptions dads have about fatherhood and the often eye-opening realities that follow. We’ll also highlight dads who are working to make parenting just a little bit easier for all families with their approachable and resourceful dad brands—one diaper, one bedtime story and one honest conversation at a time.
Navigating Finances and Shared Responsibility
Before baby arrives you think: Babies are expensive but we’ll figure out a budget later.
Reality of fatherhood: From diapers and daycare to unplanned urgent care visits and specialized formula, the costs of raising a child start early and add up quicker than dirty bottle parts in your sink.
Naturally, many new parents are so focused on caring for their little one that they go far too long without a clear financial plan because when you’re in the thick of it, who wants to deal with finances? But, once the bills start rolling in fast and furious parents are often met with surprise after surprise (did you know a newborn can go through up to 12 diapers a day? That’s over 330 in the first month alone and can cost upwards of $100—and that’s just for diapers alone).
For generations, fatherhood meant bringing home a paycheck and that was your worth as a dad. But modern fatherhood calls for something more: dads are now fully engaged at home, managing emotional labor, co-scheduling, budgeting, and yes, taking their fair share of diaper duty.
To navigate a family’s finances and shared responsibility, many couples turn to Brian Page, founder of Modern Husbands. He’s the only professional in the nation certified as both a Fair Play Facilitator® and an Accredited Financial Counselor® (AFC®). His platform is designed to help couples navigate the financial and domestic realities of family life together and equitably. Through tools like the Marriage Toolkit and the Modern Husbands podcast, Brian offers practical, research-backed guidance for managing money, sharing responsibilities, and easing the mental load. His work gives dads the tools to show up as true partners—without the shame, blame, or burnout.
Related: The Secret to More Fair Parenting? It Starts with These 5 Conversation Starters
Redistributing the Unseen Labor of Parenting
Before baby arrives you think: Obviously, we’ll split things 50/50
Reality of fatherhood: You and your partner are running on fumes and caffeine. You both can’t remember when you need to schedule the next pediatrician appointment, who is responsible for buying more formula and what happened to that field trip permission slip your older kiddo brought home.
We have a phrase for all of this remembering, tracking and anticipating every family member’s needs: the mental load. Once you become a parent, the mental load just keeps growing and generally, the mental load falls to the default parent. But good news: there’s a way to redistribute it and streamline the responsibilities so that one partner isn’t carrying the majority of the burden, and simmering resentment.
Zach Watson, a Fair Play Facilitator and educator behind Zach Think Share, has made it his mission to help dads understand and actively redistribute this often-unseen labor. His skits, coaching programs, and real-talk content offer digestible and empowering ways for fathers to co-lead at home, which builds trust with their partners. Keeping your family running smoothly deserves all the attention and care from all members of the family because managing it all isn’t just a mom thing. Connect with Zach in his free community or via his YouTube channel.
Related: Practical Tips to Build Your Own Village
Preparing for the All the Expected (and Unexpected) Logistics
Before baby arrives you think: We’ll figure out the logistics as we go. At least we have the crib, carseat and clothes all ready.
Reality of fatherhood: Wait, what time did she last eat? Is tomorrow early dismissal day or the next? When is the family assistant coming for an interview? Will you be home at 10am so I can take a client call? Becoming a father is one complicated web of logistics, which often feels like a game of emotional and mental Jenga.
It’s easy—and natural—to underestimate the amount of logistics thrown your way once you become a dad. That’s why digital tools that lighten the logistical and mental load aren’t just nice to have—they’re essential for any new or even, seasoned father.
Enter Michael Perry, founder of the Maple Family app, an all-in-one platform built for parents who need to stay organized and more connected with their partner, all without feeling overwhelmed or like it’s just another task on their to-do list. From shared task lists that provide transparency to AI-supported calendar syncing, Maple helps families collaborate in real-time. It’s not just about remembering to pick up the milk, Maple enables parents to create (and stick to) systems that let everyone breathe a little easier.
Related: 10 Essential Things to Do Before Your Baby Arrives
From Overwhelmed to On-Purpose: Strategic Coaching for the Modern Dad
Before baby arrives you think: I know fatherhood is going to change me.
Reality of fatherhood: Before your child arrives, you imagine the joy. But the reality often brings overwhelm, exhaustion, and tension in your relationship with your partner. Roles feel unclear. Communication breaks down. And emotional closeness drifts as sleep deprivation and stress take their toll.
That’s where Seat at the Table Coaching, founded by Frederick Van Riper, comes in. Frederick’s high-performance coaching will help you lead relationally and communicate clearly. That’s why Frederick Van Riper created The Connection Blueprint Live — a 3-week, live cohort experience designed to keep your relationship off the back burner. Through practical tools, guided partner labs, and small group work, you’ll learn to spot the invisible patterns that create disconnection, take responsibility without blame, and shift your daily habits in ways that build real trust and connection.
This Father’s Day, give yourself — or a dad you care about — the gift of relational leadership. Step into fatherhood with clarity, empathy, and the confidence to create connection, not just hope for it.
You can also catch Frederick’s podcast, Dad’s Interrupted on YouTube. Through mindset work, communication strategies, and relationship coaching, Frederick supports dads in becoming the leaders their families need—both at home and within themselves.
How to Make Time for Each Other, Even in the Chaos
Before baby arrives you think: We’re going to prioritize our relationship with date nights and solo time.
Reality of fatherhood: Wait, what’s a date night again?
As much as you’d like to prioritize your partner with date nights and time alone, the reality is that having a newborn sucks up all of your time and energy, in a good way, of course. Finding that time together truly needs to be an intentional effort on both of your parts.
The Nula app, co-founded by Ashkan Vaziri and Ali Movaghar, helps you take the lead when it comes to finding reliable, verified babysitters, scheduling and managing appointments, offering real-time GPS tracking and communication, and a tool that provides built-in calculations for ease of payment. And once you book those local, verified sitters, if you decide to just go take a nap somewhere, we won’t blame you.
Modern Fatherhood and the Path to Equality at Home
A 2022 survey found that the vast majority of fathers with children under 18 (85%) say being a parent is the most (24%) or one of the most (61%) important aspects of who they are as a person. But, we don’t need a survey report to tell us that fatherhood fundamentally shifts your identity for the better.
But, with that shift comes real challenges: navigating evolving identities, creating greater equality at home, managing the mental load, and staying on top of parenting logistics. That’s why the voices featured here matter. These dads are facing these challenges head on, modeling new ways of showing up and changing the expectations of what it means to be a successful parent and father. By sharing their tools, resources and knowledge, they’re helping reshape the fatherhood identity, not just for themselves but for future generations, too.
