Parenting Without a Village Is Hard [Practical Tips to Build Your Own]

December 20, 2024

Congratulations—you’re having a baby! As you prepare to welcome your little one, there’s plenty to plan for, from setting up the nursery to finding the perfect nanny. But one thing many parents overlook is a plan to build your village. Think of your village as your support system. This network of hand-selected individuals offers emotional assistance and support as you navigate pregnancy and new parenthood—they can do everything from dropping off meals to offering you an emotional outlet as you navigate the fourth trimester. Your village is what you want it to be: it can consist of family, relatives, friends and even neighbors. Here we’ll break down why your village matters, how to plan and build your own (especially with the absence of nearby family) and how Villie can help bring your village together to support you and your baby.

Why Your Village Matters

Social support isn’t just a “nice-to-have” during pregnancy and early parenthood—it’s essential. Research shows that parents with strong support systems experience lots of benefits like lower levels of stress, reduced risk of postpartum depression, improved mental health, and better overall birth outcomes. Simply put, a connected village has the power to transform your parenting experience—and your baby’s well-being.

At Ville, we take this to heart, which is why it’s our mission to help moms and families get the support they need and actually want. We’ve learned that while everyone around you wants to help, they often don’t know how. That’s why creating a strong support system—and knowing how to ask for what you need—is essential.

Step 1: Create Your Village Before Baby Arrives

Creating your village takes intention and a little time, but it’s so worth it. Start with those closest to you—your partner, parents, family members, and best friends—but don’t stop there! Cast a wide net, and make a list of phone numbers and emails so you can easily share news or ask for help when you need it.

As you put together your list, here are some things to consider:

What Makes a Good Village Member?

The beauty of building your village is that it’s totally up to you! But here are a few key qualities to look for:

Trust is Everything: Can you count on this person, no matter what?
Judgment-Free Vibes: They’ll uplift you without criticism or unsolicited advice.
The “Can I Call You?” Factor: Are they the kind of person who’ll pick up in an emergency or help at the last minute?
Diversity in Skills and Perspectives: A mix of talents is helpful—think meal preppers, baby whisperers, and those who bring snacks everywhere.
Respect for Boundaries: They honor your family’s needs and preferences.
That “Family You Choose” Feeling: Sometimes, the strongest village members aren’t blood relatives but chosen ones.
Shared Joy and Love: They celebrate your wins and share in the highs and lows of parenting.

Expand Your Circle

Think beyond the usual suspects and tap into these groups who might be excited to support you:

Neighbors: Perfect for quick errands or a friendly chat when you need emotional support.
Coworkers: A work buddy might surprise you with their willingness to lend a hand or share advice.
Near and Far Friends: Distance doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker—technology makes it easier than ever to mobilize support from afar.

Timing is Everything

Pregnancy is the perfect time to start planning your village. Having support in place before the baby arrives means you’ll have a team ready to celebrate milestones and help when things get tough.

Villie makes it simple to bring your village together in one digital space. Thousands of moms use their Baby Pages to:

Share updates, pregnancy milestones, and photos with everyone at once.
Post multiple registries and wish lists for baby essentials.
List specific tasks for your village, like dog walking, meal prep, or babysitting.
Communicate quickly and easily when you need a hand.

Step 2: Activate and Keep Your Village Engaged

Your village isn’t just there for the big moments—it’s your lifeline for the everyday. Keeping your village informed and involved is essential because it helps them stay connected to your journey and ready to step in when you need them most.

It is easier for you to ask for help, when your village is there with you on your journey.

Plus, it’s not just about you. Think of your village like a community, where it’s also rewarding to give. You all share joy and purpose. In this case, it just happens to be about you and your baby.

Here’s how to keep your village engaged from the start:

Celebrate together

Host a Gender Reveal Game to engage your village in a fun, memorable way.
Use Villie’s AI-powered Baby Shower Planner to organize an event everyone can enjoy.
Involve your village in the baby naming fun. Share the Baby Name Generator and see what good (and bad) ideas you can outsource.
Invite Your Village to “Guess Who” and poll your loved ones to guess which parent the baby will look more like.

Keep Communication Open

Share regular updates and milestones so your loved ones feel connected to your journey. Villie’s Baby Page simplifies this by allowing you to post securely and privately.

Ideas for Pregnancy Updates

Ultrasound Photos: Share a picture from your latest scan and let your village know how the baby is growing.
Bump Progress: Post a fun “bumpie” (baby bump selfie) or a series of photos showing your progress.
Cravings or Milestones: Share funny or unique moments, like a surprising food craving or feeling baby kick for the first time.
Doctor Appointment Highlights: Update your village on baby’s health or share an exciting moment from your latest checkup.
Nursery Prep: Show off your progress with nursery setup—paint colors, furniture, or a cute corner that’s starting to take shape.

Ideas for Newborn Updates

First Photo: Introduce your baby with a sweet picture and their name (if you’ve decided to share it).
Sleep Wins: Share a little victory, like a baby’s first long nap or a good night’s sleep, to let everyone celebrate with you.
Baby’s Firsts: Whether it’s a smile, bath time, or a milestone like tummy time, these little moments are perfect for updates.
Support Requests: Keep your village in the loop by sharing tasks or items you need help with, like “Could anyone help us with a meal train this week?”
Gratitude Moments: Thank your village for their support and share how their help (like a meal or a visit) has made a difference for you.

Express Gratitude

When people feel appreciated, they’re more engaged and emotionally invested in your journey. That builds a powerful bond between you, your family and your village. So express gratitude! A simple thank-you text, a heartfelt note, or a shout-out can go a long way in letting your village know how much their support means to you. Whether it’s a neighbor dropping off a meal or a friend offering to babysit, those moments of kindness deserve recognition—and those connections will only grow stronger with time.

Step 3: Ask for Help (And Be Specific)

Asking for help can feel awkward, but most people genuinely want to support you—they often just need clear guidance. At Villie, we’ve seen firsthand that moms often struggle to ask for help, even when they need it most. We also know that your village is eager to step in; they just need to know how they can help.

To make the most of your village,here are practical, specific ways to ask for support during pregnancy and in those early days with your baby:

Specific Asks for Before Baby Arrives

Help assemble nursery furniture.
Organize baby clothes by size.
Batch-cook and freeze meals.
Stock the pantry with snacks.
Set up and test baby monitors.
Run errands, like picking up prescriptions or baby gear.
Organize a meal train for after delivery.
Provide emotional support through check-ins or chats.
Take the dog for a walk.
Take the older kids out to the park and make them feel special.
Wash and fold new baby clothes.
Go out on a lunch date.
Install the car seat.
Organize the changing station.
Prep a feeding area (include spit cloths, snacks, a water bottle)
Organize a postpartum recovery kit.
Take the stroller on a walk with you to test it out.
Plan a self-care day.
Prepare thank you notes or pick up stamps.
Prepare a snack bag to take to the hospital.

Help Ideas for After Baby Arrives

Fold and organize baby laundry.
Clean bottles, pump parts, and pacifiers.
Hold the baby so you can nap or shower.
Walk the dog or care for pets.
Get the older siblings out of the house during feeding or nap times.
Take the dog on a walk.
Prepare quick snacks.
Refill your water bottle.
Run an errand like pick up takeout or groceries.
Prepare a meal for your crockpot.
Drop off a freezer meal.
Sweep the floor.
Pick up the older kids from daycare / school.
Take photos of the baby (and mom too!)
Go for a slow walk and listen.
Just check in with a text.
Drop off returns.
Give the baby a bottle.
Empty the diaper pail.
Restock the bathrooms with toilet paper.

Is Hiring Your Village An Option?

This article is all about asking for help from your network, but you shouldn’t overlook hiring help as well. As you look through this list of support ideas, remember you can hire a Newborn Care Specialist, house manager or assistant, postpartum doula, night nurse or nanny with newborn experience. Hiring support, even to supplement your network, can be a game changer and offer consistent and reliable help as you navigate pregnancy and the postpartum period.

Know you want to employ some help, but not sure where to start, start here!

Do You Have Employer Benefits to Use?

Check with your employer and your insurance plan as you may have care coverage for postpartum support after your baby is born. For example, you may have access to a postpartum doula or night nurse so we suggest exploring all of your options before your baby is born.

Villie: Let’s Mobilize Your Village

At Villie, we believe that parenting is a team effort—and your village is at the heart of it all. We’re here to help you turn your circle of loved ones into an engaged, supportive community that’s with you every step of the way. Whether it’s celebrating milestones, sharing updates, or rallying help when you need it most, Villie’s tools are designed to make building and mobilizing your village simple, stress-free and FUN.

Why is this so important? Because having a strong village makes all the difference. It’s the late-night check-ins, the extra set of hands, and the shared joy that make the parenting journey feel a little less overwhelming and a lot more meaningful. Villie is here to help you harness that power and create a support system you can count on.

Ready to bring your village to life? If you’ve liked this “How to Build Your Village” guide, let us help you! With features that are free, secure, and made to keep everyone connected, your Villie Baby Page makes it easy to start building bonds that will last a lifetime.

Let’s get started—because no one should have to do this alone.