When Hiring a Nanny Makes Sense in Your Marriage

My wife and I have been a dual career married couple for over twenty years and we found that it takes teamwork to make our dreams work. That’s why I founded Modern Husbands to share ideas to manage money and the home as a team.

Dual-career couples often face the dilemma of balancing professional responsibilities with family needs. One of the most significant decisions is whether one partner should leave the workforce to take care of the children or if hiring a nanny is a better option. This decision has profound implications not just for the family’s financial stability but also for long-term career prospects and overall family dynamics.

In this post, we will explore why hiring a nanny makes sense in your marriage, supported by research and expert opinions.

The Financial Impact of Women Leaving the Workforce

One of the most significant factors to consider is the financial impact when one partner, often the woman, leaves the workforce. The immediate loss of income is just the tip of the iceberg.

According to a study by the Center for American Progress,[1] women who take a break from their careers to care for children lose an average of four times their annual salary over their lifetime due to lost wages, missed promotions, and reduced retirement benefits.

Moreover, the gender pay gap exacerbates this issue. Women already earn less than men on average, and stepping out of the workforce widens this gap further. The long-term financial consequences can affect the family’s overall financial health, including their ability to save for retirement, children’s education, and other significant expenses.

Child Outcomes: Stay-at-Home Parent vs. Childcare

A common concern among parents is whether childcare can provide the same developmental benefits as a stay-at-home parent. Research shows that there is no significant difference in child outcomes when comparing children cared for by stay-at-home parents to those in high-quality childcare settings. A study by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development found that children who attended high-quality childcare performed just as well in cognitive and social development as those cared for at home.[2]

This research suggests that the quality of care, rather than the caregiver’s identity, is what matters most for a child’s development. Therefore, hiring a well-qualified nanny can provide children with the nurturing and stimulating environment they need to thrive, allowing both parents to pursue their careers without compromising on their children’s well-being.

Benefits of Outsourcing Home Management Labor

Outsourcing home management labor, such as childcare, can bring significant benefits to dual-career couples. By hiring a nanny, parents can reduce the stress and time constraints associated with balancing work and home responsibilities. This allows them to focus on their careers, improve their productivity, and maintain a healthier work-life balance.

There is strong evidence that outsourcing domestic tasks can lead to increased happiness and life satisfaction. A study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that people who spent money on time-saving services reported greater life satisfaction compared to those who spent money on material goods.[3]

By delegating childcare responsibilities to a professional nanny, parents can gain more quality time with their children during non-working hours, leading to a more harmonious family life.

Practical Considerations for Hiring a Nanny

When considering hiring a nanny, it’s essential to evaluate both the financial and non-financial aspects. Here are some practical considerations:

Cost-Benefit Analysis

Calculate the costs of hiring a nanny, including salary, taxes, and benefits, against the potential loss of income and career progression if one parent leaves the workforce. This analysis can help determine if hiring a nanny is financially feasible and beneficial in the long run.

Quality of Care

Ensure that the nanny has the necessary qualifications, experience, and a positive track record. High-quality care is crucial for your child’s development and your peace of mind.

Flexibility and Support

A nanny can provide flexibility in scheduling, accommodating parents’ work hours and reducing the need for additional childcare arrangements. This flexibility can be particularly beneficial for parents with unpredictable work schedules.

Emotional Well-being

Hiring a nanny can alleviate the emotional and physical stress associated with managing both work and home responsibilities. This can lead to a more positive and supportive marital relationship, benefiting the entire family.

Wrapping it Up

For dual-career married couples, hiring a nanny can be a strategic decision that supports both professional and personal goals. Investing in a nanny not only preserves career trajectories and financial stability but also promotes a balanced and fulfilling family life.

If you would like to learn more about how you can work as a team to manage money and the home in your marriage, subscribe to our free newsletter or preview our Marriage Toolkit.

About Brian Page

Prior to founding Modern Husbands, Mr. Page was a Visiting Scholar at the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau Office of Financial Education and a Working Group Member of President Obama’s Advisory Council on Financial Capability.

[1] Miller, Claire Cain. “The Costs of Motherhood Are Rising, and Catching Women Off Guard.” The New York Times, 15 Oct. 2019, www.nytimes.com/2019/10/15/upshot/motherhood-rising-costs-surprise.html.

[2] NICHD Early Child Care Research Network. “Child Care and Child Development: Results from the NICHD Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development.” Guilford Press, 2005.

[3] Whillans, Ashley V., et al. “Buying Time Promotes Happiness.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, vol. 114, no. 32, 2017, pp. 8523-8527. www.pnas.org/content/114/32/8523.